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Release Date | : | 2019-07-26 |
Runtime | : | min. |
Genres | : | Animation, Family, Comedy |
Production Company | : | Sony Pictures Animation, Columbia Pictures |
Casts | : | |
Plot Keywords | : | |
An tale of discovering the greatest wish of all.
Dragged to see this loathsome wreck by my nephew who hasn`t yet developed critical-thinking skills, I found myself desiring to undergo a colonoscopy; at least I`m unconscious for that.
Which may be a great win-win future business-venture: combine colonoscopies for reluctant adults with obnoxiously-woke SJW superhero movies targeting viewers with IQ`s less than 50. And that`s not to insult people actually born with developmental deficiencies; THEY can`t help the way they are. No, I`m talking about allegedly functioning-members of society who intentionally switch off their brains because social-media orders them to. Seriously, I read some of the positive "10 out of 10!!! SQUEEEEE!" reviews. Geez, get a economy-sized drool cup for all that saliva, Skippy.
This movie was directed by Simon Kinberg who wrote the screenplay for `X-Men Last Stand`. You know, that 3rd movie that was supposed to be directed by the awesome Matt Vaughn but instead went to the hack Brett Ratner? That should set off Defcon-1 Red Alerts to your wallet. AVOID THIS MOVIE AT ALL COSTS...
Sophie Turner: boring. Just because she was on Game of Thrones doesn`t justify her yet in a leading role. She needs to seriously pad her resume with at least 5 years of movie roles before doing something this big.
Jennifer Lawrence: jarringly-obnoxious & phoning-it-in. Is she worried that fellow up-and-coming Brie Larson is invading JLaw`s man-hating-feminist turf? Too bad James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender were probably forced at legal-gunpoint. Seriously, they have this constant "God-I-wish-I-was-anywhere-else-but-here" looks on their faces throughout this dreck.
And Quicksilver? He gets sidelined for the most of the movie? He was the BEST thing about `Days of Future Past`.
Jessica Chastain: competing with Brie Larson for Wooden-Plank-Oscar of 2019.
Everybody else: Forgettable. Bland. Invisible.
Honestly, if this is the new Hollywood standard, with ENDLESS nagging political lectures to all you audience rubes about how wise they are, I say, "Sure. Go for broke." And I mean that LITERALLY. Hollywood, I suggest that all superhero movies from now on feature EVERY.SINGLE.MINORITY with a political axe to grind as Gary & Mary Sues: perfect in every way, marching across the screen with all your propaganda packaged as eternal wisdom. And make sure that EVERY moustache-twirling villain from now until Doomsday features a white/conservative/Christian/Alpha male.
I`m sure that will reap gi-normous financial windfalls. As for me, I`m done with movies. A waste of time & money.
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